Hmmm...

I realize I've posted like... nothing since my last Whine-A-Thon. I guess it would be nice to post something not whine-ish now, but I feel like I'll end up whining again... I could whine about work. At least that's not something about my personal problems *cough*thatDon'tBelongOnTehWebs*cough*. So, let's see... I just watched my cat drag a long, stringy cat toy all the way down the stairs and into my room, in case anyone who comes across this cares to know. Interesting...

Now I feel the need to rant, so: CAUTION~ RANT AHEAD. >:3

I have this friend in school that is constantly picked on and bullied for her scars and her sexuality, and I often wonder 'Why her?' There are plenty of others that harm themselves and plenty of others that are homosexual... So why this friend of mine? Is it because she accepts herself for it and isn't afraid to hide it anymore, in terms of scars? Or are people just dicks and like to make ONE person's life a living hell, rather than an even dissemination of bullying. I don't get it... One of these days, I'm going to walk around holding a girl's hand; I'm going to kiss a girl in school, just to see if people say something to me. I'll roll my sleeves up and walk around proudly, just to see who makes jokes or shoves me into a water fountain for no reason; just to see who will laugh and who will ask what's wrong. I want to know, how many kids at my school care and how many are just assholes?

I don't even fucking know -_-

... How do I post things here without whining to the virtual chirping crickets? That is one of the great questions of life, I swear to the great imaginary friend in the sky. Anywayyy.... Proceed with caution: Ranting and whining ahead.

I shouldn't be unhappy or upset for any reason; I have an amazing life and amazing parents. I'm not from a "broken home", and I don't live in a socially repressed community... So why am I so unhappy; unhappy with myself, my home, my emotions, my circle of friends, everything. I don't know why either. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere and I never will. I feel like there is no future for me. I feel... like I'm losing interest in everything.

I don't care about a social life anymore. I feel like I slip further and further away from friends. I feel like the drama is overwhelming, even when it's not my own, and I'm suffocating. New friends may help, but actually making new friends isn't something I'd be able to do.

My grades are slipping. Slowly, they drop to an average range. Maybe it's not much now, but classes I should have A's in, I have B's. I care less and less about school work; I care less and less about going to bed to get up for school. I care less and less about life in general. Sometimes, I just don't want to live it anymore.